Dov attends training for his Bar Mitzvah once a week with his Aunt Sarah. The students practice their prayers, study Judaism and discuss spiritual matters.The students practice their prayers, study Judaism and discuss spiritual matters. Dov has enjoyed the class so much. Every person desires to be included in their own community.
From: http://autism.healingthresholds.com/blog/portia/a-doorway-into-our-spiritual-com
Met your mother-in-law and husband at a CAN Philly event years ago and we know some folks in common. My son is named Benjamin Dov and our boys are the same age. I had hoped to Bar Mitzvah Ben by now, as he has made so much progress, but we have no window into his inner life. (He's verbal, but verbally unreliable and not at all reflective.) Until I can feel certain that he understands, I won't do it. I want it to be a truly meaningful experience for him, not an empty gesture because its expected. In the meantime I just take him to the synagogue whenever I can, so that he is comfortable with the sounds and sights and rituals. And he is beginning to follow the service in English. Someday, I hope he will understand that this is his spiritual home. I am very grateful that our congregation has been so welcoming.
Tell you a story: Ben is my eldest and for years I really couldn't bear to attend bar-mitzvahs. It was just too hard. I could only think about the fact that this simple ceremony, the birth-right of every Jewish child was just one more milestone my wonderful son might never see. So unless the honoree was a close family member, I'd make up some excuse not to go. On one occasion though, my husband insisted that I attend the service of the son of a business associate. I went but, try as I might, I couldn't keep it together. I weeped and dabbed at my eyes behind sunglasses through the entire proceedings. Afterwards, on my way out the door, I was accosted by a stranger who gushed that indeed it had been a remarkably beautiful service and that she had never seen anyone so moved by the Torah reading: she assumed that I had to be a very close friend of the family. I was mortified, of course. I mumbled some ridiculous lie about growing up with the mom and exited the shul post haste.
Over the years, of course it has gotten so much easier and I will celebrate the bar mitzvah of my youngest this coming December. I can't help but wonder how I will feel on that occasion. I pray that my hurt for one son will not affect my joy for another. I'd hate to think I was that weak. Anyway, I hope you will permit me to be the first to say mazel tov to your entire family.