Autism Therapy: hitting

            It just goes by so fast.  All of the planning and preparation to get away for one measly week (not enough time!) and the vacation is over in a flash.  We’ve gotten back to normal; the laundry is all done and the bags are all unpacked and put away.  We had a really great time, the kids especially!  Thomas tried new things this year that we couldn’t get him to do last year and he wore his blue Speedo goggles faithfully all week.

            Thomas still has a problem with swimming in the lake.  We tried to get him in a few times but the closest we got was when my Aunt Suzy convinced him to splash on the shore.  That was better than nothing!  The rest of the time, he sat on the pier and watched everyone in the water.  My Uncle Jeff and Aunt Paula brought a huge eight-person round floating lounger for people to sit in, and we tried to get Thomas into that too, but he wasn’t going for it.  Thomas and Hayley mostly swam in the pools and played with other kids’ toys.  We did notice as the week wore on that Thomas was having a generally difficult time adjusting.  Going on vacation right after school ends for the summer requires a lot of adaptation on Thomas’ part and we could see that he was really struggling.  I find it so interesting that Thomas was clearly having fun and enjoying himself, yet he was struggling inside at the same time.  It’s hard to describe that to someone unless they see it firsthand.  Thomas was particularly difficult in the evenings while we were trying to get dinner on the table or getting ready for bed.  He did a lot of “wrestling” with Hayley (whether she was willing or not).  He definitely needs more sensory input at these times of change.  Thomas also had difficulty with what experts and teachers call “compliance.”  To you and me, that means listening and doing what the hell Jonathan and I say.  We had some upsetting times when we had to remove Thomas from group situations because he was being too rough.  The last night, we all had a big potluck and ate each other’s leftovers before heading home on Saturday.  Thomas was actually hitting us; punching right in the stomach.  I realized that he was acting out the boxing game on the Wii because after he punched, he would fall on the ground and start counting to ten.  Funny, but unacceptable.  I warned him once that if he did it again, we’d leave, so we did.  He was really upset and he knew what he did wrong because he kept telling us that he was sorry and that he wouldn’t hit again but we had to put our foot down, especially in front of all those people!  It’s interesting how much more motivated a parent is to be firm when there’s an audience, isn’t it?

            Thomas did ride the waverunner with Jonathan a couple times.  On Sunday in particular, everyone wanted to ride with Jonathan and he was exhausted by mid-afternoon.  Thomas dictated whether to go right or left and how fast he wanted to go.  He mostly likes to go slow, but he enjoyed it very much.  I told him that Jonathan has been dreaming of riding the waverunner with Thomas since before he was born, but I don’t think he gets it.  Hayley rode a lot as well.  She was very agreeable all week, ready to try any activity that anyone suggested.  She rode a lot with my cousin Suzy, but mainly wanted to see the big balloon outside the boat rental place nearby.  Whoever rode with Hayley got to idle around the pier a lot.

            We went out to eat several times during the week; once for breakfast on the way to Missouri, two nights out during the week and then twice on Saturday on the way home.  Thomas kind of ran hot and cold with that.  Out of the five times we ate out, two of them didn’t go very well with Thomas.  All in all, it was alright.  Three out of five restaurant meals were peaceful.  On Wednesday night, everyone went to our favorite Mexican eatery, then played mini-golf, then rode go-karts and finally we ended up at the frozen custard place.  We all do this every year and it is typically a late evening but we decided to go ahead and try it with the kids.  Dinner went fine, but mini-golf was hard for Thomas.  He kept saying that he didn’t want to play but we sort of dragged him along.  We just kept finishing holes and telling him to come on, come on to the next hole.  By the eighteenth hole (I still can’t believe we made it!), he was actually enjoying himself.

            Onto the go-karts, and this year Thomas was actually ready to try them!  He rode with me in a little two-seater kart and Hayley rode with Jonathan.  Thomas loved it!  I was driving along, mentally patting myself on the back for helping Thomas to finally overcome this aversion to something we all knew he’d love.  He was laughing very deeply in his belly.  I’ve never heard him laugh like that!  He had a great smile on his face and I thought for sure that we’d just have to find a go-kart track near our house.  Unfortunately, Jonathan and I were very short-sighted.  We didn’t think about what would come after the go-kart ride was over.  Thomas did.  After I pulled over at the end of our last lap, I unbuckled our seatbelts and Thomas slid over to my seat and said, “Okay.  My turn!”  Oh, dear.  I took his hand and was able to lead him off the track without much trouble, but he was crying.  He was crying very loudly by the time we got back to Jonathan and Hayley, so we picked him up and tried to soothe him.  It was kind of sweet, somehow.  He loved the ride, but wanted a turn to drive.  Next year, maybe we’ll check out another track that said “Mini-karts for kids” on the billboard.  God help me, can I actually be thinking of letting my son drive his own go-kart?  Honestly, he’d probably be a better go-kart driver than I am.

            Thomas recovered from the go-karting disappointment when we told him that we were going for ice-cream.  When we got to the custard stand, he said, “Hey!  I remember this place!”  I’ll bet.  I think he remembers it because there is a giant ice-cream cone on a pole outside the place.  That’s memorable for an autistic five and a half year-old.  A very visual child, Thomas is.  Both kids fell asleep on our way back to the resort after what we felt was a largely successful evening.

            Now that we’re home again, I can tell that Thomas is trying to re-adjust to being home all day.  He doesn’t ask if he has school anymore.  I wonder if he remembers from last year that there’s weeks and weeks without school after we get home from the vacation house.  The rest of the summer stretches out to what seems like infinity.  Yesterday, we visited the park.  Today, we visited my mom because we had some work done on the car and she met us at the garage.  Tomorrow, there’s an HVAC guy coming to check out our air-conditioning.  Enthralling, I know.  We’ll go swimming, re-up our zoo membership, basically the same stuff as last summer but I’ll try to keep it interesting.  Somehow it always is, and the story of our lives requires no exaggeration.