Background music may help children with autism to learn emotions.
Children with autism need an understanding of emotions to help them with social skills. The purpose of this study was to test whether or not background music and song texts can help to teach emotions to children with autism. All 12 students showed an improved understanding of the four emotions that were taught. Children who had background music and song texts learned better than children who had no music. The children understood sadness, fear, and anger better than they understood happiness.
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Repetition...Here I go again!!!
Jun 7, 2009 by AnonymousThis week was much like many others in the respect that I was going through a period of feeling totally overwhelmed with life in general and my emotional pendulum was yet again swinging from one extreme to the other, a phenomenon my family have long since chalked up to mom having “one of her days.” Nothing extremely out of the ordinary actually. I had been asked to submit again further documentation to my insurance company to substantiate the need for my son’s ongoing speech therapy. I had requested and received home work material for the expressed purpose of practicing hard won skills so as to ward off the ever present monster in the closet; regression. I had intended yet again to organize files, stow away winter clothes, check the fit of summer clothes, etc., etc. And then it hit me. As I checked emails, twitter accounts, my space pages and face book…it hit. This emotion that was at once akin to emotional vertigo and short of a panic attack. The overwhelming enormity of all that goes with caring for a child with ASD. It was a feeling that I could not quite place the night before as I watched my son struggle to perform math problems that we had been working on all year and still seemed to just escape his grasp. It was the feeling of clawing your way up a mudslide. It was the feeling of being stuck in one place while the world seemed to move around you. The repetition of it all in an effort to gain some minuscule ground and trying to find contentment in that. When that realization came, with it came the self-loathing. How could I possible feel tired of it, resentful, angry…and if I did, what must he feel?
In reading submissions from others on line and parents that I have personally connected with, I have come to one conclusion; the drive to protect, nurture, and see that our children flourish is all consuming. I have met some truly awe inspiring parents with children on the spectrum and have found evidenced in them immeasurable strength. But almost universally I have found that the same strength that drives us alternatively burns us out. We are called upon to wear so many hats that we find ourselves filled to overflowing. I have sought alternative ways to deal with this sense of feeling overwhelmed…therapy, exercise, prayer and mostly that works. I have learned to reprioritize my life. No longer is it most important that my house be spotless. There are days when I feel it would pass inspection by the Board of Health…barely. No longer are my finances handled with the precision of a calculator wielding accountant…thank goodness for online payments! The laundry may not be done to Martha Stewart’s standards…(ok, did that pile in the corner just move by itself…it’s small, I think I can take it!). Point is I am doing the best I can. Today. And maybe tonight in the solace of my beloved shower I will cry, long, shoulder wracking, hiccup inducing, eye swelling cries that will leave my eyes red and puffy as only my favorite shampoo can. I will toss and turn and watch another episode of Law & Order with one eye on the clock, and then sleep the sleep of a parent whose mind will not be still. Tomorrow is a new day, a new fight, a new challenge. A bus pulls into my driveway and his voice sing-songs on its way out through the closing door…”bye mom, love you” as it has every school day this year. I smile and realize repetition ain’t that bad.
I hope I get detention.
Dec 16, 2008 by AnonymousThe holiday sing went very well! I have to admit that I didn’t have such high hopes as Thomas is not much of a performer, but he did stand onstage in the appropriate spot. While he didn’t do all of the hand movements that went along with the songs, he did at least mouth the words (he wasn’t singing so loudly that I could hear just him, of course) and I got the whole thing on video. Hayley sat in the audience picking her nose the whole time. I can only assume that she thoroughly enjoyed herself. They sang one song about sledding, one song about Hanukkah and one song about Santa. The first grade classes sang two songs about Kwanzaa, so they covered all the bases, while shying away from the whole “baby Jesus” concept. The only Christmas songs they did were about reindeer or Santa. I was really disappointed that there were no songs about Boxing Day. Perhaps I’ll pass around a petition for next year.
I’ve got so much going on this week that I just know I’m going to forget to do something important. I’m sending in cupcakes for Thomas’ birthday tomorrow and also the supplies I had to get for the little gingerbread houses they’re going to make on Friday and finally the book for the Book Exchange. I think that covers Thomas. I’ve decided to skip Thomas’ Christmas party and go to Hayley’s party at school on Friday instead, since I get to spend one day every week in Thomas’ classroom anyway. And on Thursday, I wrote down “School sing – 9 a.m.” on the calendar. I don’t know whose school this is for or who will be singing. I’d better ask. I think – think – that it is a school thing for Thomas, but we just went to that Holiday Sing last week! I’m losing it. Plus, Thomas’ birthday party is this weekend and I haven’t ordered the cake yet or bought any of the supplies. Thomas wanted a Little Einsteins party but I haven’t been able to find Little Einsteins party ware anywhere. It’ll all come together, but right now I feel like I’m completely unprepared. At least we have all of our Christmas shopping done. Oh, except for my aunt in California. I have to do that in the next two days to avoid high shipping charges. So I guess it’s not all done.
The kids have been doing marginally well with the whole independence thing. The problem that we’re running into is that I still don’t leave enough time before school for the kids to put on their mittens, hats, coats, boots and scarves. This process, if I wasn’t constantly trying to hurry it along, could easily take an hour. I get so impatient when I see Thomas playing around with his shoes instead of putting them on, or when Hayley screams, “I WANNA DO IT!” and snatches a garment out of my hands, only to take F-O-R-E-V-E-R to put it on the appropriate body part. She is very particular about her socks, which I have little room to complain about since I am the same way. The seam across the toes has to be just so. The heel has to be in the appropriate spot, and hell hath no fury like Hayley when there’s a loose thread on the inside of her sock, tickling her instep. I get so frustrated and impatient with the two of them that I think I’m going to have an attack of some kind. Thank goodness that nothing more important than possible tardiness hangs in the balance while they gear up in the morning.
The upshot is that some days they do it themselves and other days I am forced to do it for them. Teaching independence is still my major commitment, however, and the thing that we’re working on regularly.
Thomas did about an hour’s worth of homework tonight and this is probably the longest I’ve gotten him to do homework in one sitting EVER! I usually can’t get him to sit down for more than fifteen minutes at a time, but he really did a good job staying focused on his work this evening. We had a lot to do. The teacher didn’t give us that much homework in one night to be handed in the next day or anything; this was stuff that should have been done over the weekend but as usual, it was a busy one and we had lots of other stuff to do. Late homework at this age, like tardiness, is more the parent’s fault than anyone else’s. I wonder if I’ll have to serve detention. It would actually be a nice little break for me.
Job well done
Dec 9, 2008 by dankohnI really wish I had more time to write. I’m sure everyone understands that this time of year, things are completely cuckoo-bananas.
Anyway, I left off right before Thomas’ conference, which went very well. We brought both of the kids along which seems to be the thing to do at Thomas’ school. Everyone brings their kids along for every little meeting and get-together. We felt like outcasts for not bringing at least Thomas to the first Open House.
In addition to our family of four and Thomas’ teacher, the resource teacher also attended Thomas’ conference. She made a point of explaining to us that Thomas’ progress is being charted along with his classmates, and for many of his goals she wrote that his class is still learning that particular concept, so he is neither behind nor excelling, but progressing as expected. Thomas’ teacher only had very good things to say about Thomas and I can tell that everyone really enjoys working with him, which is so wonderful. I know what I go through on a daily basis with Thomas and I always hope sincerely that he is not behaving the same at school. It appears as though he does work hard and try harder at school than he does at home.
I’ve turned over a few new…leafs or leaves? Anyway, I implemented some changes around our house as I’ve realized that I do way too much for the kids. I look around and realize that Thomas is nearly six years old now and there’s no way I should be putting his shoes on for him every morning, getting his coat on and zipped, and so on. I held a “Zipping Seminar” for the kids about a week ago. An hour or so before dinner, I helped the kids put their coats on and then taught them how to zip them up. It only took a couple of minutes for Hayley to master the concept and implement it, and it took Thomas only a little bit longer. I was very proud of both of them and they are now both zipping their jackets like pros. The problem I have with Thomas doing any self-help or personal hygiene chores by himself is that he takes FOREVER. Yesterday morning, I thought that I had been abducted by aliens because it seemed like we started getting ready to go to school around 8:05 a.m. but by the time I got the kids in the car it was 8:26 a.m. and the first bell had already rung. Yikes. There’s about twenty minutes of time in there that passed by so quickly I didn’t even realize it. I got Thomas in the building just in time, but because of this, I now see that getting on coats, shoes, hats, mittens and scarves, and sometimes boots is a half-hour procedure at least if I let the kids do it themselves, which I must do. Thomas has a difficult time staying on-task and needs many verbal cues to do what he is supposed to do. I know that he is just waiting for me to get frustrated and pressed for time so that I do it for him, but Jonathan and I have both explained to the kids that we wouldn’t be very good parents if we did everything for them all the time. We say that it is our job to teach them how to take care of themselves because one day, we won’t be around to do things for them. That statement opens up a whole other can of worms usually, but we’re very honest with them about life and death. They know that everybody dies sometime and usually, nobody knows when that will be. Luckily, the kids don’t lie awake nights wondering if their number’s going to be up soon. We told them not to worry about it and they seem not to. Especially with Thomas, however, we really need him to understand how important it is for him to learn to take care of himself. Hayley has a drive to do things for herself and usually will get dressed by unassisted if I ask her to.
In addition to getting dressed and getting ready for school, I’ve begun to insist on the kids washing themselves properly in the tub and brushing teeth (and in Hayley’s case, hair) by themselves. I sit in the bathroom with them and talk them through it, but I’ve really begun to see that I’m not doing Thomas any favors by treating him like a baby. Sigh. Those days are definitely over as he’s about to turn six. And Hayley’s four-going-on-fourteen. We’ll see how it goes, but I’m really trying to push independence.
Tomorrow is Thomas’ school Holiday Sing at the local high school. I’m very excited to see how he does. He participated in something similar when he was in preschool, but it was on a much smaller scale. I have no idea what they’re going to sing (non-denominational songs about snow and candy canes, most likely) but I’m eager to see how he does. I wonder if the much bigger high school stage (I assume it’s bigger; I’ve never seen it) will intimidate him, or if the bright lights will distract him. Mostly, I think that Hayley will be shouting to him from the audience. Which reminds me, I have to charge up the video camera tonight.
Thomas did much better in school when I was there last Tuesday. We had a long talk about how his teacher is there to help him, but I’m there to help the teacher. This apparently sunk in because he was not at all clingy last week, completed his work and only relied on the teacher and the aide for help. Today he was also purposefully ignorant of my presence, but it was a difficult day for all of the kids, for some reason. Thomas would NOT stop talking. Before the teacher read “The Gingerbread Man” to the kids, she put the weighted vest on Thomas and this really helped him settle down. She usually pairs the kids up and reads a few pages. Then she asks the kids to discuss the story so far with their partners. Thomas was Hayley’s partner today and he was so adorable. Every time the teacher stopped and asked a question, Thomas would turn to Hayley and repeat it. She would answer it pretty accurately, too. After the story, the weighted vest was removed and Thomas resumed his motor-mouth. He wasn’t bad, he was just talking when he should have been listening. Many of the kids were out of sorts today, so there must have been something in the air.
Thomas said something very sweet today. The social worker came in for Thomas and another little boy today, which she does every Tuesday. Thomas, who is not always eager to leave the classroom, got right up, took her hand and said, “Wow! You look so beautiful today!” Of course, the social worker blushed and thanked Thomas, saying that he had made her day. I think that she’s expecting, and at that difficult time when people don’t know if it’s extra weight or a baby bump, so his kind words worked wonders on her. He comes up with those zingers every now and then and melts the hearts of whomever he’s talking to.
Hayley, on the other hand, has zingers of her own. We got all of our Christmas shopping done this past weekend, thanks to my mother-in-law taking the kids from Friday after school to Sunday afternoon. We met at our regular rendezvous point on Friday and I put the kids and their bag into her car. We were standing outside Hayley’s open car door, just talking for a minute when Hayley said, “Look, Grandma! I’m wearing a freakin’ hat!” Grandma laughed herself sick while I stood there with a “this is clearly my fault” look on my face that also made her laugh. It was hard not to giggle at Hayley, who could tell that she had said something extremely entertaining and has been using the phrase “freakin’ hat” ever since. Job well done.
Sleepy, Dopey and the Doc
Sep 19, 2008 by AnonymousThe saga continues with the medications. I’m sure that the neurologist (with whom I have not spoken in person or over the phone) is tired of me calling the office to give “updates” on Thomas. Since last Friday, the doctor asked us to give Thomas one-half of the Clonidine tablet in the morning and keep him on two at bedtime. Last weekend was the first time we tried it and Thomas was very sleepy in the morning as a result. Not hyper-active either, but rather dopey. Sunday night I sent an e-mail to Thomas’ teacher explaining that if Thomas seemed sluggish in class on Monday, it was not because we replaced the milk in his Lucky Charms with Miller Light. He really does seem kind of drunk when he takes the Clonidine and at night, this is okay. Anyway, Monday morning I chatted with the teacher and she said that Thomas was good, just “different.” Last Thursday and Friday when he took nothing in the way of medications before school, the teacher reported that things were “pretty rough” for Thomas. It’s really too bad about the Focalin. It worked for Thomas except for the facial tic.
We’re going to stick with the half Clonidine in the morning, because after speaking with the neurologist’s office on Wednesday night, she said that the sleepiness should wear off after about a week but the calmness and focus should remain. I’ve actually already noticed that he seems not so sleepy after taking it in the morning. There are other options, apparently, but we know how well Thomas tolerates Clonidine so we’re going to stay with what we’re sure of.
My Internet job search continues. I’m looking for part-time word processing stuff I can do at home in the afternoons. Most places are looking for “cyber assistants,” but that would require answering phone calls. Phone calls are no good because the kids know that when Mommy is on the phone, it’s open season or “Thunderdome” as Jonathan would call it. There are so many scams out there, too! The one thing I qualified for in terms of typing speed and accuracy is only hiring people who have legal document experience. I’m really hoping that if something comes along, the kids will cooperate and let me earn some dough.
Hayley is doing well in preschool and seems to like it. She’s made some friends and her teachers are nice. It’s like pulling teeth to find out what the kids did in school on any given day. Hayley’s got her head in the clouds and is content to sing songs from “The Wizard of Oz” on the way home from school, and if I pepper Thomas with too many questions, he shuts down, saying, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore!” True to his nature, however, he is only too glad to report who wasn’t behaving in class and who got a “yellow.” The teacher uses a green-yellow-red system to report to parents on how their kids did that day. I’ve observed this in class and she actually lets the kids push her pretty far before they have to change their card to yellow. If they clean up their act, she lets them change back to green. There are a couple of kids who are consistently “in yellow” as the day closes. I picked them out right away on the two Tuesdays I’ve been there to help out, even before the teacher had had enough of their tom-foolery.
Thomas has been in green every day, but I think that the teacher is a little more lenient with Thomas’ behavior. I’ve never seen him act up on Tuesdays, but she seems a little gentler with him when she has to remind him about what he’s supposed to be doing. Yeah, it’s probably because I’m in class and she doesn’t want to holler at him while I’m there, but I think she’s probably just a little more understanding because of his problems. I know that if the teacher ever told him to change his card to yellow, he would be extremely upset. He knows how important it is to behave, which is nice.
The kids in kindergarten have earned enough marbles for good behavior to have a party! Next Friday is Pajama Party Day! I was invited to come, but Hayley will have preschool that day so I can’t make it. I told the teacher that I would wear my pajamas all day anyway, in honor of the occasion.