Autism Therapy: swing

            The summer season has officially begun.  I know it’s only April and snow is not completely out of the question yet, but we just got back from my mother-in-law’s cottage yesterday for the first time this season, so here we go.  Things have really changed with Thomas since last year.  All of a sudden – well, not really “sudden” because there’s been a whole winter since we were there last – Thomas is much easier to take care of in Wisconsin.  He doesn’t stay in the driveway obsessing about car doors anymore.  He doesn’t get close to the road anymore or disappear the minute we look away.  Jonathan and I were thinking about last spring, when one of us had to be camped out in the driveway and the other had to be by the shore just making sure that the kids (but especially Thomas) didn’t throw themselves into the lake or the road.

            Thomas loves to ride this very old big-wheel that we have for him at the cottage.  We told him that he couldn’t ride it into the driveway except to go in the garage to turn around and he followed that rule all weekend!  The thing that really shocked me was when he decided several times during the day on Saturday that he wanted to go inside and take a break.  This is the kid who would run outside when nobody was looking last year, and not come in until we dragged him at supper time, kicking and screaming.  He plays so nicely in the sandbox or on the neighbor’s swing set, too.  Yesterday, he was doing that when I called him to come in for lunch.  He stopped what he was doing, got up and came inside without one word of protest!  Of course, I stopped him on the way for high-fives and big hugs for being such a good boy.  But that wasn’t even the first time he did that all weekend!  He was really good the whole time!  And Hayley is easy up there!  

            It’s happening…it’s finally happening!  Every time we’ve been at the cottage during the past few years, we’d get in the car to come home and we were completely exhausted, mentally and physically.  Our brains were tired from the constant tag-team parenting we had to engage in, having to bring the kids inside just because one of us needed to use the toilet.  Tired from girding ourselves and preparing for Thomas’ inevitable meltdowns when it was transition time.  Physically tired, too, from chasing the kids around all weekend and trying to get Thomas to go to sleep at night.  We came home yesterday feeling much better.  We kept telling ourselves every time last year, “It’ll be better next summer.  It’s going to be better next year, when they’re a little older.”  It’s finally next year!  Next year is now!  We still can’t sit around and sun ourselves all day, but we can watch the kids from a little further away, hopefully where other adults are congregating and chatting about interesting stuff.

            Speaking of other adults, we have the most wonderful neighbors in Wisconsin.  They have a little swing set and sandbox that they are very generous in letting our children use anytime we’re there.  The folks who actually own that cottage are my mother-in-law’s age, but they have kids my age who have kids too.  They brought one of those little motorized cars for one of their kids this weekend and they were so nice to let Thomas have several turns.  I can’t believe how great Thomas is when it comes to taking turns lately.  He really listens when I tell him to stop and let someone else have a turn and I know how hard it was for him to get off that little car.  As some of you might remember, Santa debated long and hard about whether or not to bring one of those cars for Thomas this past Christmas.  Santa was right; Thomas would have loved it.  But he was very good about that car with the boy next door, and the boy next door was so nice, too.

            Last week we went to a kindergarten workshop at a nearby school.  They offered childcare so we dropped Thomas and Hayley off in a classroom and went to this little seminar.  We didn’t get much out of it, but it was nice to see some familiar faces from Thomas’ school and get to know the kindergarten transition facilitators for our district.  Apparently, the transition from preschool to kindergarten can wreak emotional havoc on the minds of some parents.  The director of the workshop kept bringing that up; that the kids will feed off of our misgivings and insecurities about the transition and that we should never let them see how concerned and scared we are.  Jonathan and I kept looking at each other like, “Huh?”  We had no idea that we were to be riddled with conflicting emotions and the constant urge to weep openly about our little baby growing up.  I suppose that if Thomas had never been to school before, we would be a little more hesitant.  He’s been in preschool for two and a half years now, and we both (well, all three of us really) feel like saying, “Yeah!  Bring it on!”  We’ve been talking to Thomas about it and he said that he’s excited to go to a new school.  He asked, “If I go to a new school, will I get to make new friends?”  Who says this boy isn’t social?  He’s excited about making new friends, and there are plenty of neuro-typical kids – even neuro-typical adults – who are apprehensive about meeting new people.  Since Thomas is excited and Jonathan and I are not grief-stricken, I’d say we’ll all be just fine.

            We got a note home from one of the staff at Thomas’ school last week about a playgroup in Naperville this summer for five year-old boys who are high-functioning autistic/Aspberger’s.  Exactly Thomas’ description!  There’s a center for autism in Naperville that wants to do this playgroup with these boys to work on social skills.  I read on that the group would consist of only four boys, and if we were accepted, a check for $300.00 would be due before the first meeting.  I laughed and I laughed!  Did I mention that this group would be meeting for five one-hour sessions only?   Ha!  We’d miss one of the sessions because of our family vacation in June, too.  So for us, it would only be four sessions!  Gee, I sure do wonder why many families with autism don’t have more access to great programs like this.  (That last bit was meant to be sarcastic, in case anyone missed it.)  Three hundred dollars would pay for half of Hayley’s preschool next year which we MUST do, whether or not Thomas’ bus schedule conflicts with it.  I don’t know what we’ll do if it doesn’t work out, but I’ve got to come up with some way of getting Hayley to class.  She shouldn’t miss out again next year and be behind all of her peers because of Thomas’ schedule; it isn’t fair.  I’m hoping that it all works out.